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Subscribe to one of Pat Wiklund's Electronic Newsletters		Resources | Articles Taking Charge When You're Not in Control Sleeping with a Stranger How I Survived Marriage to a Child Molester by Patricia Wiklund, Ph.D. Thank you for your interest in Sleeping with a Stranger. This is the book I didn't want to write, but it was the book I wanted to read when I was going through my own challenges. This is the first book, and as far as I know, still the only book ever written about childhoood sexual abuse from the perspective of the spouse and larger family unit of the perpetrator and his victim. The book was featured on national televisions, Oprah, Phil Donahue, Maury Povich, and Leeza, as well as 20/20. The 20/20 piece is now being regularly rerun on the Justice Files. For the most part, these shows were supportive and thoughtful. However, myths and fears still crept in. The best response to these came from Oprah herself when, long after the show was finished taping and the audience and guests were still talking, she remarked how normal, how together, how smart, how regular we all were. Then she went on to say, if it could happen to you, it could happen to anyone. I wish I could say that in these last few years since I wrote the book, pedophilia, child sexual abuse, has diminished. As the daily press reminds us, it hasn't. I wish I could say that in this time, the courts have changed how they respond and act in all these cases. Not all have. As the father of one of my clients (and an attorney himself) commented after a particularly disappointing decision, people come to court expecting justice and get a decision. Currently the book is available on Amazon. (And I do have plans to reprint a second edition myself, if the demand warrants.) Click on the links at the bottom or top of the page to purchase it. Writing Sleeping was very helpful in developing my understanding that what happens to me doesn't have to define me, or constrict me, unless I let it. What my husband did was his story, not mine. I can choose what I want in my life, and don't have to take what others impose upon me. Since writing Sleeping, I have moved on. I am no longer a therapist, but an organizational consultant and professional speaker. I am now living in California, working with people and companies throughout the United States, and some limited work internationally. To say I now have a wonderful life is an understatement. I love where I am living, love what I am doing, and enjoy myself immensely. I tell you this, not to arouse your envy, but to reassure you that it is possible to put your life back together. In fact, that is the subject of my second book, Taking Charge When You're Not in Control. Doesn't that say it all about being married to or a family member of a child molester?!!!? Actually, Taking Charge is a result of my coming forward with Sleeping. Many of my friends and colleagues read Sleeping...and then told me, that although what happened to me didn't happen to them, what I said about what happened to me would have been, was, real helpful to them when... And then, they went on to tell me about the horrific stories of the challenges they faced with what I have come to call Imposed Change: life changing events we couldn't predict, didn't cause, don't want, and can't avoid. So, order the book.. You should get it within less than a week. Hang in there...I know it feels like things will never get better. And, truth be told, it does seem to take forever. Many women report that it can take up to three years before all the legalities and the emotionality starts to simmer down. My favorite prayer during my challenges was "This too shall pass." I also would remind myself of what one of my spiritual advisors said: "It came to pass, it didn't come to stay." Take good care of yourself... ps: to read the Introduction to Sleeping With a Stranger, just click here.
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